Sunday, April 10, 2011

DELIVER-E goes international

Sounds big, doesn't it? Well actually, it isn't that big. But I'm pretty excited about it nonetheless.

Anyway, as you may or may not have known, the Snowtop crew is made up of three families--Chongs, Sweers, and Dokupils. We, the Dokupils, are half Chinese, and the Chongs are fully Chinese. All of which means we've got a lot of relatives down in Asia. And thanks to Google translator, they can now enjoy DELIVER-E.
(Click to view larger)
This is still in test mode. Since I have no knowledge of the Chinese language, I have no idea of what it's translating into and whether the grammar is correct. It will have to be proof-read by Mrs. Chong.

At any rate, to make sure I had the translations moderately correct, I translated the English to Chinese and then translated from Chinese back to English. As with most translations, the results are hilarious. Particularly in the Uncle Francis scene, because Francis has a heavy southern accent and uses words that the Chinese NEVER use. Here are a few examples...

When Jacob tells Francis his name, he replies:
English version: Jacob, huh? Fine french name. Do you know Jacob means pain? Almost named my son Jacob but instead I named him Piano Joe.
Chinese translation: Jacob ah? Exquisite French name. Do you know Jacob is the pain? Almost called my son Jacob, but I told him to piano Joe.

When Uncle Francis tells of his childhood:
English version: I was raised in Mississippi bred in Alabama had my schooling in Missouri and was winged in Georgia! I can out brag, out fight, out talk, out wrestle, out sing, out dance, and out drink any man in the south! I’ve fought in all six world wars and with every general spread over tar-nation, from Alexander the great, to Stone Wall Jackson to Stormin' Normin'! Now, Stone Wall Jackson, there was a general! Did you know it took 18 bullets to bring him down?
Chinese translation: I was born in Alabama, Mississippi, proposed, Keeping in Missouri and Georgia wings! I can play out, speak out Out of wrestle, sing out, out dancing, drinking out of anyone in the South! I fought in all six world wars and every general gradually spread to the curse. From Alexander the Great to the stone wall, normalized to tackling! Now Stonewall Jackson, there is a general! You know, it took eighteen rounds of ammunition, so that he disappointed?

Uncle Francis defends Robert E. Lee:
English version: You speak with respect when you are speaking of General Lee! It's an almighty wonder that his soul doesn't descend out of heaven and smite your earthly existence boy! Are you a yank boy? We don't take kindly to yanks in these parts.
Chinese translation: Respect you, because you mentioned Lee! This is an all-powerful, no wonder his soul did not come from heaven on the ground there to kill you boy! Or you push hard and boy? We do not treat the Yankees in these areas.

English: Robert E. Lee was giving Grant his sword so he would clean it and Grant wouldn't give it back.
Chinese: Robert Grant gives his sword, so he is clean, and funding will not give it back! 

This one is my personal favorite:
English: Say boy, do you like spoons? Like the kind you don't eat spaghetti with.
Chinese: Boy, you like the spoon? Like the kind you do not eat noodles.

This is a line from a different scene, when Jacob laments for his misfortunes:
English: Somebody up there hates me.
Chinese: Some people hate me is the role of registration.

Yeah. It needs work :P


  1. Oh my goodness, I was laughing SO hard as I read that! wow, you should do a voice over version where they actually say those lines in English, that would be amazing =) lol, That's really cool, though, that it's going to be in Chinese =)

  2. Hahahahahahaha!!!! This is hilarious. You're going to have to re-script the whole thing!

    By the way, I cannot believe we forgot one of the best lines ever in our SC duo:
    "Many sink down, and few return to the sunlit lands."

  3. Oh, rats. I don't know why I always remember the little details like "my tinder box is gone" but completely forget the important stuff. We also forgot "while under earth and throneless now I be, yet while I lived, all earth was under me". I'm going to have to keep that in mind when I re-make the entire movie franchise thirty years from now (which is one of my life-goals in case you didn't know since Walden/Disney/Fox don't have the slightest idea that they are dealing with the greatest literary works of all time and just butcher everything). Boat gobbling green mist! Good heavens!

  4. good heavens is right!! i had no idea you were going to do that in thirty years! :p Or maybe it will take that long to get to LB and you could save that one... :p
    By the way, the Chinese DVD looks awesome! except for those line mix-ups.... could you have Mrs. Chong just translate it? (or pay someone to?)

  5. I'm probably going to get the Taws to translate it actually. (They're the ones who played the Chinese people in the movie. They would know :P)

  6. Against the will of its parents, the young bird leaps from the nest.
    Only to discover it cannot fly,
    as it falls from the sky, it discovers the ground is not so nice as the cat described.
    As the young bird thrashes among the thorns and loam, the cat closes in its hunger burns.
    The bird realizes it about to die,
    BUT ITS SAVED BY UNCLE FRANCIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    YEE-HA!!!!!!!!!! Boah!



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