Anyway, as you may or may not have known, the Snowtop crew is made up of three families--Chongs, Sweers, and Dokupils. We, the Dokupils, are half Chinese, and the Chongs are fully Chinese. All of which means we've got a lot of relatives down in Asia. And thanks to Google translator, they can now enjoy DELIVER-E.
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At any rate, to make sure I had the translations moderately correct, I translated the English to Chinese and then translated from Chinese back to English. As with most translations, the results are hilarious. Particularly in the Uncle Francis scene, because Francis has a heavy southern accent and uses words that the Chinese NEVER use. Here are a few examples...
When Jacob tells Francis his name, he replies:
English version: Jacob, huh? Fine french name. Do you know Jacob means pain? Almost named my son Jacob but instead I named him Piano Joe.
Chinese translation: Jacob ah? Exquisite French name. Do you know Jacob is the pain? Almost called my son Jacob, but I told him to piano Joe.
When Uncle Francis tells of his childhood:
English version: I was raised in Mississippi bred in Alabama had my schooling in Missouri and was winged in Georgia! I can out brag, out fight, out talk, out wrestle, out sing, out dance, and out drink any man in the south! I’ve fought in all six world wars and with every general spread over tar-nation, from Alexander the great, to Stone Wall Jackson to Stormin' Normin'! Now, Stone Wall Jackson, there was a general! Did you know it took 18 bullets to bring him down?
Chinese translation: I was born in Alabama, Mississippi, proposed, Keeping in Missouri and Georgia wings! I can play out, speak out Out of wrestle, sing out, out dancing, drinking out of anyone in the South! I fought in all six world wars and every general gradually spread to the curse. From Alexander the Great to the stone wall, normalized to tackling! Now Stonewall Jackson, there is a general! You know, it took eighteen rounds of ammunition, so that he disappointed?
Uncle Francis defends Robert E. Lee:
English version: You speak with respect when you are speaking of General Lee! It's an almighty wonder that his soul doesn't descend out of heaven and smite your earthly existence boy! Are you a yank boy? We don't take kindly to yanks in these parts.
Chinese translation: Respect you, because you mentioned Lee! This is an all-powerful, no wonder his soul did not come from heaven on the ground there to kill you boy! Or you push hard and boy? We do not treat the Yankees in these areas.
English: Robert E. Lee was giving Grant his sword so he would clean it and Grant wouldn't give it back.
Chinese: Robert Grant gives his sword, so he is clean, and funding will not give it back!
This one is my personal favorite:
English: Say boy, do you like spoons? Like the kind you don't eat spaghetti with.
Chinese: Boy, you like the spoon? Like the kind you do not eat noodles.
This is a line from a different scene, when Jacob laments for his misfortunes:
English: Somebody up there hates me.
Chinese: Some people hate me is the role of registration.
Yeah. It needs work :P